Leading by Example

“The three most important ways to lead people are: by example… by example… by example.” – Albert Schweitzer

As Head of School, I’m very familiar with children’s uncanny ability to see and hear everything. Just like all of us, I have days when I get stressed out, upset, or frustrated. But whenever that happens, I have to take a minute and remind myself that I’m surrounded by young people who are listening and watching my every move. Because if I lose my cool or act unkindly, those kids will not only notice, they’ll follow my lead.

That’s the thing about modelling appropriate behavior. It means you have to hold yourself to a higher standard, for the sake of those looking up to you. Of course, I am not the only one doing this at KCS. Teaching children is a team sport, and our school is filled with all kinds of wonderful adults who spend their days setting a great example for our students by following the three school rules – Respect, Manners, and Try Your Best.

But as much as I believe in the power of great teachers and schools, I also believe that the single biggest influence in a child’s life is their family. To keep the analogy going, if teaching really is a team sport, then parents are the coaches, captains, and waterboys all rolled into one!

I know that we have great families at KCS, I also know that we can all do better. So as we ask of your children, we ask that all our families make an extra effort to follow our three school rules with each other, with our staff, in our parking lot and in the neighborhood. At times during the school year, I observe or hear about behaviour among some adults in our community that does not meet the standards we hold your children to each day. KCS is a learning environment, and it can be challenging for young people to follow our three school rules if they do not see the adults in their lives doing so.

With that in mind, I have a couple of asks for all the grown-ups in our community:

#1. Please be respectful of our volunteers at various events at KCS including the Welcome Back BBQ, pizza lunches or in our school store. Please thank them, appreciate them, and respect their efforts. As a community we are very fortunate to have over 4500 hours of volunteer time annually at KCS. Our school could not do all that we do without our committed volunteers.

#2. Please be partners with us in the parking lot and the streets surrounding the school. Our staff are doing their best to keep traffic moving at a safe and reasonable speed for the safety of everyone including the students, families and drivers.  Please do your part paying extra attention near the school and by driving slowly. At pickup, please do not park on the east side of Wimbleton, as it is difficult for teachers to see past your vehicles when they are crossing students into the park for teams and after school play. Unsafe and disrespectful parking also impacts our entire neighborhood. My first day of classes ended with a phone call from one of our great neighbors, who was understandably upset about a highly disrespectful encounter they had with a KCS parent who left their car parked on a corner for 15 minutes. We are part of a wider community here in Etobicoke, and our interactions with that community should be a reflection of our school values.

#3. Please help up lessen congestion in the parking lot at our busiest times (8:15-8:45) and (3:15-3:45). Consider organizing a carpool, or if you live near the school, think about walking to KCS for pick up and drop off. If you are planning to supervise your child in the Reading Circle or in the park after you pick them up, please park in the neighbourhood rather than the parking lot, as this frees up spots for families who need to pick up their child and leave immediately. And if your children are in the junior/intermediate grades, you can park on the other side of the Humbertown Park and have your son or daughter meet you there.

I know these seem like small measures, but they send a message of respect and manners to our entire community, and sets a great example for all our kids. I thank you for your support, and look forward to another fantastic year of partnership with all of you.

Please share this information with others who are helping with drop-off and pick-up of your children.

Derek Logan

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Top 5 March Break Staycation Tips

Who needs ski hills or Caribbean beaches? We live in one of the best cities on the planet, so if you’re spending this March Break at home, get on out there and experience all Toronto has to offer! But if you’re feeling a little low on inspiration, here are five family-friendly ideas to get you started. Have fun!

Canadian-Style Sugar Rush

Nothing says the end of winter like the arrival of maple syrup. So get the kids bundled up and head out to one of the many maple syrup sugarbush events around the city. Our two favourites are the super outdoorsy Kortright Sugarbush Maple Syrup Festival and the decidedly downtown Sugar Shack TO fest at Sugar Beach. If the kids give you any static about leaving the house, just remind them there’s plenty of maple candy waiting for them outside!

Kortright

Dinner and a Show

Toronto has tons of great theatre for drama fans of all ages, but this March Break is filled with shows specifically for the little ones. First-time theatregoers will love the puppet-filled version of the classic book, The Very Hungry Caterpillar. The Young People’s Theatre’s main stage is hosting The 26 Letter Dance, a rhythmic and poetic show for ages 4-8. For fans of the Junie B. Jones series of books, there’s Junie B. Jones the Musical. And for those a little too cool for such youthful fare, there’s Mirvish’s production of The Lightning Thief. Just don’t forget to grab dinner downtown afterwards!

Mirvish

Strap on the Skates

If you want to get outside and active, nothing beats a good old fashioned skating rink. But give your local rink a rest and try out one of Toronto’s many unique skating options. There’s the Bentway under the Gardiner, the Natrel Rink at Harbourfront, and the Evergreen Rink at the Brick Works. For those who want to put a little boogie into their skating experience, the rink at Ontario Place hosts skate parties on Friday and Saturday nights, complete with local DJs. Of course, if you feel like staying a little closer to home, there’s always the local Colonel Samuel Smith skate path down at Humber College!

Ice Skating

Brainy Break

Just because school is out doesn’t mean the learning has to stop! If you want to keep your kid’s grey matter engaged over the break, there are plenty of brainy options. The Inventorium 2.0 exhibit at the Science Centre is designed to spark creativity in kids by providing them with lots of hands-on STEAM activities that are based around coding, making, and experimentation. As always, the ROM is putting on a ton of special March Break events, along with a great collection of new exhibits (the wildlife photography display is a real standout!). And if your little one loves creepy crawlies, there’s the Spiders Alive exhibit at the Royal Botanical Gardens in Burlington.

ROM-DinosaurDisplay-May9-04

Family Game Night

In this age of screen-dominated entertainment, it can nice to unplug and enjoy an hour or two with a few good old-fashioned board games. The board game café scene in Toronto has taken off in the last few years, so there are plenty of options to choose from! The most family-friendly choice is probably Snakes and Lattes, which boasts three locations throughout the city. There’s also a couple of upstarts in the west end of the city, including A-Game Café in the Annex and Manapool in Bloor West Village. Just remember to be a good sport when your ten-year-old cleans your clock in a spirited game of Settlers of Catan!

Catan

So there are a few ideas to get you out of the house and into the March Break staycation spirit! We look forward to hearing all about your family’s Toronto adventures after the break!!!

Parenting in the Age of Fortnite

I’ve been playing videogames for pretty much my whole life. I started with Pong in my neighbour’s basement way back in kindergarten and then moved on to Space Invaders on the Atari 2600 in elementary school. I traded floppy disks filled with dozens of computer games with my friends in middle school, while Nintendo ruled the day in high school and university. I even spent a good chunk of my twenties working as a game reviewer for a handful of magazines and websites. To this day (well into my forties!), I spend a couple of hours each week relaxing on the couch with my PlayStation or Nintendo Switch.

So it goes without saying that I think videogames are pretty great. At their best, they put players in imaginative worlds filled with branching stories, head-scratching puzzles, and endless opportunities for creative expression. They’re also just really, really fun!

Clearly, many of our students feel the same way, particularly when it comes to Fortnite. For the past few months, the halls of KCS have been dominated by Fortnite dances and play-by-play breakdowns of the previous night’s games. Some of our older students have even talked about the fact that their obsession with the game has had a detrimental effect on their homework, socializing, and sleep. But these types of conversations aren’t just happening upstairs in the Grade 7 and 8 hallway. They’re happening a lot in Grade 4 and 5, and even sometimes in Grade 1. And that’s a real concern.

Most parents and educators (particularly those of us of a certain age) assume that videogames are designed specifically for children, so, therefore, they must be perfectly appropriate for all ages. After all, we played Super Mario when we were little and we turned out alright! It’s just a game, no big deal!

The trouble is, as is the case for the vast majority of games on the market today, Fortnite is not designed for children. I can understand why many people think it is. On the surface it seems totally harmless. It’s full of candy-coloured characters doing silly dances and breaking open llama piñatas. It looks like a Saturday morning cartoon come to life. So of course we assume it’s meant for kids.

But at the end of the day, it’s a profoundly violent piece of entertainment. After all, the entire point of the game is that 100 people land on an island, and then 99 of those people get killed. The characters may look adorable, but they are only there to shoot each other in the head. Also, the other 99 people you play against are real people, most of whom have microphones on. So you end up listening to a lot of strangers saying a lot of really toxic stuff. (Take it from someone who has played a few multiplayer games – online gaming chatter is nothing short of a cesspool of sexism, racism, homophobia, and profanity.) Given all this, it’s no surprise that the game industry’s own rating system, the ESRB, gave Fortnite a “Teen” rating, which means it is considered suitable for ages 13 and up.

Now, I recognize that every parent (myself included) has to make choices when it comes to their child’s media diet. Parenting is the hardest job in the world, and it doesn’t come with an instruction manual. I regularly find myself staring down tough choices that seem to have no easy answer. Do I let my twelve-year-old daughter have an Instagram account? Should I let my six-year-old watch a Harry Potter movie? I have spent most of my adult life studying child development, but when it comes to my own kids, I’m usually just making my best guess.

So I’m certainly not intending to come off as judgmental or all-knowing. But I will offer the one piece of advice that I have found works best for me – educate yourself on the media your children are consuming. When my daughters ask for a new game, I take ten minutes and do a little research. My first step is always the ESRB website, where you can get a simple breakdown on the rating given to every game out there. I usually follow this up with a visit to Common Sense Media, a non-profit organization that provides detailed reviews and analysis of most games, along with movies, television show, books, and apps (for the record, they also give Fortnite a 13+ rating). Sometimes I go to Metacritic, an aggregate site that pulls reviews from a number of different online sources. If after all that I decide to give the game a shot, I download it and then simply sit down with my kids to watch them play it for a half-hour. If at the end of that time I’m still feeling comfortable with the game, then we’re good to go!

Ultimately, it’s all about making informed choices as a parent. When it comes to videogames, it’s easy to fall into the “it’s just a game” trap. But if you take the time to learn about what your kids are playing, you can help them make good choices when it comes to digital media and gaming. Do your homework, pay attention to what’s on their screens, and engage in regular conversations about what they are playing. Because while parenting isn’t child’s play, their games certainly should be.

Making a Difference – As an Entrepreneur

I received an email the week before Labour Day from a student who graduated last June. Subject line: Our tutoring business. That’s what happens when entrepreneurship takes root in your school.

It was a distinct pleasure to announce the launch of the KCS Student Entrepreneurship Program (StEP) at our annual Curriculum Night. Our pilot last spring was an evident success, not just for the students who embraced the opportunity but also for the contagion that hit a passion-driven group of grads who explained they spent all of one summer night together at a cottage hatching their business plan. Each going to different high schools, they wanted to find a way to stay tight-knit. When they landed on their idea of offering tutoring services for interested families at KCS, their passion was locked in.

The Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD), in its Learning 2030 report, declared the “students who are best prepared for the future are change agents.” The World Economic Forum’s Future of Jobs report shared an estimate that 65% of today’s primary students will have jobs that don’t exist yet. Further evidence of the times a-changin’ was a story on CTV that announced the gig economy was substantial and growing in Canada. In this mix are multiple, global challenges looking each of us square in the eye. This is not what traditional schooling prepared us for. But it’s an opportunity for those equipped to be the informed, responsible change agents the world needs. The future is for the difference-makers, in whatever field and position they find themselves, in whatever capacities they choose.

The entrepreneurial mindset is already well established at KCS. The Habits of Mind, Body and Action that include the hallmark attributes of quality entrepreneurial pursuits have been our waymarkers for over eight years. Service learning, which is the intentional integration of curriculum and community service, has been part of KCS for 14 years. Authentic, ubiquitous student leadership, where students pursue their passions to make a difference (no election needed), has been part of our core offering almost as long. Now we’re adding an unparalleled opportunity for middle school students to become authentic entrepreneurs (social, not-for-profit, or for-profit). It includes structured guidance on the entrepreneurial path, the support of external experts from Future Design School, the challenge of pitching one’s plan to a panel of entrepreneurs, and the opportunity to earn mentorship from an established entrepreneur and even seed funding to get started. The KCS 30th Anniversary Diamond Gala on May 4, 2019, will raise funds to support this new dimension of KCS. And the generous involvement of entrepreneurs in our community will give successful students a uniquely inspiring learning opportunity on the life of a difference-maker.

The young have always been known to be dreamers. The fact is, we need them to remain dreamers. School needs to kindle those dreamers into meaningful change-makers, and KCS has always assumed that responsibility. With the addition of StEP to our many other offerings in student leadership, the height of our efforts to make dreams a reality match the height of the changing world students face, and the opportunities available to those ready to make them.

For Those Willing to Leap

“Experience does not go on simply inside a person…Every present experience is a moving force…influencing what future experiences will be.”
-John Dewey, Experience & Education, 1938

This was the opening quote at our 2018 return-to-school faculty meeting. Recognising that KCS students have always had a plethora of wonderful learning experiences, we reflected on how these experiences, and in particular the balance of experiences, in turn shape the experiences to come.

Many positive initiatives are underway at KCS. Initiatives inherently require a leap, a responsible risk, and the recognition that the first effort may not be as anticipated. They’re experiences of particular potency, often unsettling, earning early pushback, with the possibility of failing*. Our Habits equip us to embrace the challenge of initiatives and grow as a result of doing so. We see the leaps among our students, and we see how they grow by fighting through them, and subsequently enjoying what the future experiences offer as reward. We also see the leaps among our faculty, who equally grow by grappling through our areas of focus, and enjoy the pleasure of seeing how their leaps enhance student learning and agency. And we see how each experience of individual students and teachers positively shape the landscape where future experiences will take firmer root. These are exhilarating moments to witness.

Equally exhilarating is to learn about how the Habits are fueling other members of the KCS community to embrace huge initiatives and shape the subsequent experiences of those around them.

I learned recently of a parent who has undertaken the exceptional initiative of seeking public office for the first time. A longstanding, active member of our community, the KCS Habits are as much a part of her mindset as they are our students and faculty. Lead to Make a Difference, Take Responsible Risks, Do What is Right and more have helped propel her to step in where she noticed leadership was deeply needed. She admitted to the same struggle we all face when taking a leap, but shared that the values and messages of KCS helped reinforce what she knew she needed to do. She also shared her delight at seeing how her actions are inspiring similar courage, persistence and determination in her children. They’re rightly proud watching their mother step forward, challenge power, and work to make the world better. They’re now taking more of their own leaps. Experiences, influencing future experiences.

Parents, share your leaps with your children as we share our own at school. Share how you’re taking responsible risks, how it may be unnerving at times, how it often includes mistakes, how leaps always require courage, persistence and many of our other Habits. Where possible, invite your children into those leaps so your children are part of the experience. And see how doing so influences the future experience for both yourselves and your children.

The future needs individuals exceptionally equipped to make a difference. The job of preparing them begins in childhood. Let the experiences begin.

*F.A.I.L. = First Attempt in Learning

Speak Up

Keeping the Conversation Going

It’s an astounding statistic that one in five children and youth will experience some form of mental health issue. That’s 20 per cent of our young population fighting a battle against their own mind. What’s more distressing is that five out of six of those children and youth will not get the help they need. For many of these children, it’s because they don’t know where to turn to ask for help, or don’t understand how to vocalize the problems they’re having. For many adults it can be a struggle to identify our emotional needs and feelings, so for children and teenagers it, understandably, becomes a nearly impossible task without help.

Thankfully, Dr. Joanna Henderson, Director of the Margaret and Wallace McCain Centre for Child, Youth & Family Mental Health at CAMH, Dr. Sandra Lee Mendlowitz, Founding Partner of the Clinical Psychology Centre, Dr. Taylor Armstrong, Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist at the George Hull Centre for Children and Families and Joshua Miller, Youth Engagement Facilitator at CAMH shared their expertise in youth mental health with more than 250 guests at the Kingsway College School annual Encouraging Dialogue Speaker Series, generously presented by the KCS Parent Network.

Our very special guest panel for the event titled “Mental Wellness: Guiding our Children From Stress to Strength” discussed trends in mental wellness, mental health identifiers, community support resources and strategies and tools for helping to recognize and support our children in times of stress and anxiety.

We are happy to share the video of the full panel presentation from the evening on our YouTube Channel at youtube.com/kcsmatters. Additional resources and speaker presentation slides are also available on our website at kcs.on.ca/speakerseries.

As a nation, Canada is taking great strides towards reducing the stigma that surrounds mental health. Through initiatives like Bell Let’s Talk Day the conversation has started, and KCS is proud to continue to lend our voices in support and encouragement. Let’s keep talking.

This Generation We’re Raising: What We Need to Know and Do

If you’re reading this blog, it’s because you care about kids. You may be a parent, you may be an educator, or you may just simply be one of the many who know how much kids, and their early years, matter. Since you care about kids, there’s a book you should know about.

iGen: Why Today’s Super-Connected Kids are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy – and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood was written by Dr. Jean M. Twenge, a psychology professor who specialises in personality and behaviour trends. To understand today’s kids, Twenge accessed four databases that have collectively surveyed 11 million American youth since the 1960s. Her conclusions are based on differences found between the iGen cohort and those of earlier generations (Millenials, GenX, and Boomers) in these longitudinal databases, not on surveys that focus only on one generation. Older readers will find it as interesting to learn about their own generation, as it is to see how much iGen marks a dramatic departure.

iGen’ers were born in 1995 or later, and have always lived in a world with ready access to the internet (hence the ‘i’). It’s no coincidence that some of the features of this generation align with the introduction and widespread embrace of the smartphone. Here are some of the most notable trends:

  1. Growing up reluctantly

On milestones that tend to mark adolescence and adulthood, iGen’ers are in less of a rush, reaching them much later, if at all:

  • Comfort with leaving home
  • Going out with friends
  • Dating
  • Drinking alcohol
  • Marrying
  • Having children
  • Getting a job
  • Taking risks
  1. Growing up online

This generation spends on average six hours a day of their leisure time on “new media” (texting, gaming, video chat, social media). Social media has introduced the need to “present oneself” online, which has led to the rise of selfies and the growing practice of cultivating one’s image to look perfect. Among girls, posting photos that make them appear attractive is also a distinguishing feature of this generation. The effort to gain online friends, followers, and “likes” is significant.

This generation spends less time with friends (platonic as well as boyfriends and girlfriends) in person than previous generations, but they are arguably more preoccupied with those relationships because of how they can play out online (cyberbullying, the quest for likes, the need for instant gratification/responses). Teens hanging out with their friends daily has dropped by half over the past fifteen years, with the steepest drop since 2010 (rise of the smartphone). Many explain that it’s simply more interesting to go home, game, or watch Netflix. A by-product of this is that they have less experience learning social skills, which exacerbates other problems (see #4).

  1. Not reading and not following news

Relative to previous generations, this cohort reads less and is less aware of what’s happening in the world. Their world, via their phones and gaming systems, is small but plenty intense to keep their interest. Despite being at their fingertips, they aren’t replacing the learning potential of books with online reading and learning. “We have the most complete and instant access to information in all of history, and we’re using it to watch funny cat videos,” notes Twenge.

  1. Mentally fragile

Anxiety and depression aren’t just better recognised and acknowledged these days. The symptoms of mental illness are much more widespread, to an alarming degree. Suicide rates are significantly higher among teens, and that is despite the fact that the use of antidepressants is also higher. The reduction in time spent with others, and increase in time spent online, are known to be variables that directly impact mental health. The negative effect of excessive social media on mental health is strongest for younger teens and particularly harsh for those who are already vulnerable. In addition, girls fare worse than boys. While many iGen’ers find it hard to move away from social media, many also express that they find the use of social media stressful.

Children raised by over-involved (“helicopter”) parents, another feature of this generation, experience lower psychological well-being. The preoccupation with safety and happiness made evident with this parenting style reinforces anxiety in their children.

iGen’ers also tend to get less sleep than previous generations, and much less than is healthy. This contributes to poor physical and mental health. Sleeping with their phone means their sleep is disrupted by the pings and buzzes of incoming texts. The blue light emitted by their phones also interferes with sleep.

  1. Pre-occupied with safety

 This generation is much safer than previous generations, in large part because of their own determination to be safe. Significantly fewer drink alcohol, drive, party, get into trouble, engage in sex, and other pastimes that were more common in previous generations, and that often led to unwelcome consequences. They are less likely to be careless drivers, and less likely to drive with someone who has been drinking. Physical fights are much less common, as is sexual assault. This generation knows what is dangerous and doesn’t feel compelled to engage in it.

Their commitment to safety includes emotional safety and notable discomfort with people who say things they disagree with. This cohort finds certain topics upsetting (race relations and sexual assault were shared as two examples) and will readily launch a campaign to get professors fired and guest speakers “disinvited” should they tread into emotionally disturbing content. “Safe spaces” and “trigger warnings” (given in advance of an uncomfortable topic) are new expectations they have of universities.

iGen’ers are also relatively anxious about their financial security, making them risk-averse in their learning and pursuit of a career. Universities are expected to be places where they will be prepared for these careers, not places where they should “seek meaning” and be forced to consider ideas from multiple perspectives. They have an admirable work ethic. They know that there are no guarantees of employment and they dread the student-loan debt this questionable future includes. They are less likely to want to launch their own business because of the risk that entails. Instead, those who are keen to work want a stable job. Others, curiously, just don’t want to work and put it off as long as they can (the gaming systems are still within reach, after all).

  1. Reduction in religious and political affiliations

This is a cohort that is notably individualistic. They’re open-minded on most issues as long as the issues don’t affect them directly (gender rights, same-sex marriage, race relations, legalization of marijuana for example). They are less interested in being part of a group that would require them to conform to rules, beliefs, or policies. They are even less interested in conforming to their peers on fashion, stating clearly they want to be their own person (“materialistic nonconformists”). This open-mindedness doesn’t mean they have no opinions, however. In fact, this generation is notably less tolerant of those with opinions they oppose.

Twenge’s suggestions for how to help:

  1. Help them step away from their phones
  • Delay getting a smartphone as long as possible
  • Start with a flip phone or another device that isn’t connected to the internet
  • Leverage online tools that restrict phone use
  • Strive to keep kids from social media sites that have long feeds where they are tempted to create an online identity, and seek friends and “likes”; Snapchat is recommended because snaps only go to individuals, posts are impermanent, and there is no system of “liking” images
  • Have conversations with your child about sexting, posting revealing pictures, and pornography (an alarming part of their world)
  1. Get kids connecting with friends in person (even if you prefer the safety of having them at home)
  2. Be mindful of the rise in anxiety and depression, and take steps to help your child avoid them (lower screen time, higher in-person time, exercise, proper sleep, and expert guidance as soon as needed)
  3. Allow, and even push, them to grow up more quickly in certain respects
  • Relax curfew and rules on going out with friends
  • Insist they get their driver’s license
  • Consider a gap year as time for them to grow up a bit (independent travel, work…) before they go to college unprepared for the drastic change
  1. Reduce our preoccupation with safety
  • Don’t be quick to label normal childhood conflicts “bullying”
  • Avoid using safety as an excuse or explanation for practices and rules
  • Model and teach children how to deal with people who express an opinion you disagree with (discuss, ignore, or develop logical arguments against it)
  • Provide experiences where iGen’ers have to face (responsible) risk
  1. Meet them half-way at school
  • Provide reading material that is more engaging, up-to-date, interactive, with shorter texts, a more conversational style, and the addition of videos, quizzes, and questionnaires
  • Teach them how to judge credibility of content, evaluate sources, and recognise quality research
  • Ensure that school time is relevant (they’re anxious to learn what’s needed for a job)
  • Aim for depth over breadth of learning
  • Intentionally coax them to ask questions and take intellectual risks
  • Find ways to lessen the dramatic differences between a sheltered home life and the outside world
  • Teach them how to communicate with older coworkers and clients (conversation, negotiation, email)

We can all breathe more easily knowing that many of the dangers which plagued earlier generations are responsibly avoided by iGen’ers. Twenge’s book raises new concerns, however, and we become the irresponsible generation if they’re left unconsidered. “If they can shake themselves free of the constant clutch of their phones and shrug off the heavy cloak of fear, they can still fly,” she concludes. I have the delight of raising two iGen’ers and helping to educate hundreds. Indeed, they can fly beyond our imaginations. But the data make clear that they, like all previous generations, still require help from the adults in their midst. Thanks to Twenge’s research, we can help them launch, and soar.

igen

Six Simple Ways to Keep the “Reason for the Season” Spirit Alive at Home

Christmas is supposed to be about “giving.” But in a world full of Black Fridays and consumerism, it often ends up being a season about “getting.”

That’s one of the many reasons why the KCS Parent Network believes so strongly in our annual Reason for the Season campaign. Yes, we want to help out local families by sharing our good fortune with those in need. We also want to teach our kids that empathy, compassion and citizenship are far more important than a new phone or more Lego.

With that in mind, here are six simple things you can do as a family to help keep the Reason for the Season alive at home.

#1. Have a Family Meeting
Giving back should not be just another item on a parent’s to-do list. If you really want the experience to mean something to your child, you must involve them in the conversation. Sit down and talk about how your family wants to help. Finding out what matters in life to you and your kids is the first step to motivating and inspiring the whole family to make a difference.

#2.  Walk (or Drive) Around the Neighbourhood
Our local community is full of shelters, food banks, missions and churches, all of which are home to dozens of programs that help our neighbours each and every day. Take a short road trip and visit a few local charities to see which ones align with your family’s interests and giving goals. If nothing else, showing your child the work that is going on in their own backyard will open their eyes and hearts.

#3. Grab a Second Cart at the Grocery Store
The next time you go grocery shopping, give your kid their own cart and have them choose a selection of healthy and non-perishable food items to donate to a local food bank. Many stores have drop-off bins, but taking the time to deliver your donation in person will make the experience that much more meaningful for your child.

#4. Clean Up the Clutter
Our homes are filled with things we don’t need. You know those hotel soaps and shampoos you brought home and never opened? Put your kids to work by having them pack them up and bring them to Haven on the Queensway. Or get them to gather up those old Eric Carle and Magic Tree House books they never read anymore and take them to the George Hull Centre. You get a cleaner house while they get an exercise in empathy. Win-win!

#5. Pay It Forward
The next time your kids go to the movies, the zoo or the aquarium, have a talk about all those other kids who never get experiences like that. Then buy an extra pass or two and drop them off at a local shelter or charity. If you can encourage your child to pay for the passes themselves out of their own piggy bank fund, so much the better!

#6. Whatever You Do, Do It Together
Making the world a better place isn’t just the right thing to do – it’s also a great way to bond as a family. Spending time together serving meals at the Scott Mission. Debating whether to give a goat or a chicken to a family in a developing nation. Playing a board game with seniors at a local retirement home. These are memories that are both deeply meaningful and long-lasting. So take a break from the stress of shopping and help your family re-discover the real Reason for the Season.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,

– The Parent Network Reason for the Season Team

Mr. Logan’s Four Tips for Surviving Back to School

For me, September means three things – the start of the school year, getting into a suit and tie again, and the Leafs training camp.

While I’m not sure what advice I could offer to my long-suffering Leafs (except to sign Sidney Crosby), I do have a few tips for families struggling to make it through what can be a bumpy month back at school.

Tip #1 – Go to Bed!  

I know it can be hard to break the staying-up-late habit that many kids get into over the summer, but nothing sets you up for success at school like a good night’s sleep. Get your bedtime routine started nice and early. If you have a younger child, wind them down with a quiet storybook. And – most importantly – put away all those sleep-disrupting screens at least an hour before bedtime.

Sleep

Tip # 2 – Avoid the Lunch Crunch

Mornings are busy enough as it is. You don’t want to be making sandwiches before you’ve had your first cup of coffee. Make your life easier by packing lunch the night before. Or, if you really feel like promoting independence, have your child make it themselves! It will be a little messy the first few times, but it will save you hundreds of hours in the long run and teach your child some essential life skills.  Or, if it works for your family, consider trying our new hot lunch program, Kidssentials.

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Tip # 3 – Dress for Success

Get your child in the habit of laying out tomorrow’s clothes before going to bed. This prevents those last-minute scrambles for clean shirts or missing socks. It also helps kids take more ownership over their belongings and routines – a practice that will help them find success both at home and at school.  I even try to figure out what tie I will wear with what shirt and suit the night before!

Dress for Success

Tip # 4 – Be Kind to Yourself

This is an exceptionally busy time of year for parents, which means mistakes will be made and stress levels will rise. Don’t beat yourself up over missed homework or uniform mishaps. Unwind with some unstructured downtime as a family. Take a breath. Get some takeout for dinner. Relax. Because take it from me – before you know it you’ll be dropping them off at university, as I did with my youngest last month. So enjoy the ride.

Be Kind

Have a great year!

Mr. Logan

A Request

This past Saturday, I went to see the 15-year-old son of a friend play in a competitive soccer game in Oakville. The teams were first and second in the league, and the result would go a long way in determining the eventual league champion. Sadly, the circumstances helped fuel the spectators on the sidelines; I’ve seen it far too many times before. It wasn’t newsworthy, just disappointing and far too common.  I’m not sure what it is about minor league sports (or even parking lots) that can bring out some of the most unwelcome behaviour amongst adults.

Standing on a soccer field was part of my life for a dozen years as my son played soccer at a variety of different levels:  House League, competitive and for the high school he attended.  There were some real highs and lows throughout those years: making teams, getting cut from teams; seeing boys injured; going to tournaments; team get-togethers; winning League/Ontario Cup/National championships, etc.  I even helped manage the team for a couple of years until my knowledge of the beautiful game was not enough to enable the boys to improve their skills. Coaching was fun, but it’s sometimes harder to coach fourteen boys than it is to run an elementary school of almost 400 students (your greatest supporters and critics are standing only metres away watching your every move). In fact, it was liberating to find some outstanding people to coach my son Brandon not only about soccer, but about life.  By the time he turned 10, I moved to the role of full-time taxi driver and sideline supporter.

I enjoyed being a soccer parent. Our car rides to and from games, practices and tournaments, were a part of my life for over a decade.  When it ended last October, partially because Brandon was on hiatus from an injury, and partly because he had his own driver’s licence when he returned, I had mixed emotions.  This summer as I drove by kids playing soccer, I often found myself reminiscing about those times with him.  Those years seem to have gone by in a flash. But I quickly remembered how much you can do when you are not spending three to four hours a night five to six days a week driving to and from soccer fields across the province.

On Saturday, I was reminded what I didn’t like about being a soccer Dad:  the behaviour that you witness from some of the “fans” at the game. Shocking, juvenile, absurd or ridiculous are words that immediately jump to mind. The cheering and supportive comments were too often interspersed with continual criticism of the referees and comments about the players on the other team, who are still 15-year-old boys.  Right in front of me during the second half of the game, two moms got into it.  They called each other names, threatened each other and accused each other of things like sticking out their tongues at each other.  I thought, “Things still haven’t changed.”  The players, who were nearby, were smirking and smiling at such ludicrous behaviour by the adults even though they were in the midst of a hard-fought, competitive game.

Late this summer, my son learned that he had made the McMaster Men’s soccer team. Although he has yet to dress for a game, he trains with the team and is awaiting the opportunity to show his coaches his skills during a game situation. For now, during home games, he is in the press box with some other teammates. I’ve been attending the Mac home games since before the Labour Day weekend. While I like to think I’m social, I’m not too keen to listen to the spectators sitting near me while I watch the game, so I’ve started to watch the game while listening to various podcasts or music. Listening to Metallica with good headphones tends to drown out the unwanted noise.

On Sunday night, my wife and I were in Hamilton for a comedy show and we took Brandon out to dinner. I was recounting for him what happened on the sideline on Saturday in Oakville. After I finished, he shook his head and said, “It’s the same at university, Dad. You don’t hear it because of your headphones. My teammates and I watch the game and laugh at the commentary. It really hasn’t changed since I was 7 years old.”

Since arriving at KCS 18 years ago, I’ve watched and coached a lot of sports. Because games and meets are most often held during the school day, not all of our parents are able to attend. But those that are able to make it to a basketball game, swim meet or soccer tournament, have demonstrated year after year respect for all the athletes who are competing, the coaches who are doing their best on the sidelines and also to the referees (who are often young students). Our coaches appreciate that, as do our athletes. The other schools that we visit take notice and comment positively to our coaches about the behaviour of our fans. Let’s work together to maintain this record as a school. Then maybe we can figure out how to translate this to the minor sports fields, gyms, and arenas throughout the province. Go Cougars!